Selfie deficient–should I seek professional help?

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Have you ever seen anyone who was so beautiful that you could just stare at them for hours? I’m not talking about celebrities. I mean people that you can see in real life. For me, one of those people is my daughter. She is unbelievable beautiful. I understand how DNA works. I saw that classic episode of Cosmos with Carl Sagan when I was a kid and it really made an impression. I know that part of what makes her beautiful had to come from me. (The rest from my wonderful husband, of course, but I believe she got a lot more valuable gifts from him.) People have even told me that she looks like me, but, and I know I’m soundly overly self-critical here, it has to be only the good parts.

I have always had deathly pale skin. When I was a kid, I was bullied relentlessly for it. Shocking, right? Tormented for the shade of my skin and Irish genes. The popular girls would always make a bee-line for me when they came back from spring break on some sunny beach, all so that they could compare their tans to my white skin. (Skin cancer was really not much of a concern back then.) To this day I still can’t wear shorts because I’m embarrassed of my pale skin. I thank God that my daughter loves her pale skin, striking red hair and she can wear shorts just fine.

One thing she can do that I can’t do, even if my life depended on it, is take a selfie. She recently got her hair cut short and I asked to see it. She sent me three selfies that could have been ads in a fashion magazine. The lighting was perfect and she was perfectly placed in each of the shots and as always she looked so beautiful. Is taking a selfie a self-taught skill or a talent that people are just born with?

I’ve seen other people who are not my children who can take selfies. I see them on Twitter and Facebook. They’re usually writers who are trying to promote themselves (because that’s usually who I follow and I guess that’s what I am). These are decent looking human beings, sometimes beautiful, sometimes just incredibly human but very capable of taking good selfies. Each time I have tried, I think I look like a paranoid, freaked out human candle that is in the early stages of melting.

While my pale skin has kept the wrinkles to a minimum, gravity has not been kind. I recognize that I’m hyper-critical of everything to do with myself but I do have moments when I can look in the mirror and be more than a little okay with what I see. I can have good hair days and sometimes I wear the right colors to make me look as good as it gets. Sometimes the lighting in my bathroom is just perfect. Why can’t I translate this to a picture that I take of myself?  My face is never where it should be. My eyes are never looking in the right place and I just look weird.

I’ll keep trying and if I get one that doesn’t repulse me, I’ll share it with the world. Until then, I will represent myself with pictures of my husband’s art or pictures of my cats. Today’s picture is of Friday. He is probably the most photogenic of my herd. We ended up with him when our previous neighbors moved away and didn’t take their cats with them. I never knew what they called him. I called him “Friday” because I was reading the Thursday Next series of books and I thought the name suited him. He is extremely affectionate to people but plays a little too rough with the other cats, so we usually put him in his own room at night.20170806_111111

He is such a ham for a close-up.

As for reaching my writing goals, I still have a week to go. I have begun to make changes to “Vibrancy” and have found a couple of journals/magazines to submit to when I have it ready. I have typed up some of my longhand writing for a speculative fiction novella called “Frogsong” and I’ve written some dialogue for a scene in my YA fantasy novel temporarily titled “Boxes”. (I’m sure a better title will come along.) I have also been working on promoting myself more on Twitter. You can find me @vg_acorngirl .

I wouldn’t be here without believing you are here for me also.  I thank everyone who has liked my blog so far and shown me your support. Next week, we’ll see if I met my goals.

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